No No No...Don't Wanna Go to Sex Detox

With all due respect to the marketing savvy and basic premise of the book Sex Detox by Ian Kerner, Ph.D. - e.g., absence makes the fond grow harder - I can't get over the let's-target-the-female-demographic hot pink cover, the bold claim that, "In just 30 days you'll experience love, sex, and intimacy as you've never imagined it," (Any ginsu knives with that?) and the cheap exploitation of the concept of "detox" - that oh-so trendy rehabby refuge for sought after celebrities.

Puh-lease.

Unless you're some sort of crack head, caffeine junkie, or sex addict, let's leave detox out of the equation, OK? If you want to talk about sex, just do it. (And by "do it" I mean talk about sex.)

This book makes the reasonable suggestion that couples will re-connect on a deeper, more intimate level when they cease to engage in sexual activity for about a month. With deep breathing techniques, journaling exercises, and a slew of multiple choice questions, couples are challenged to get back in touch with their turn ons and desires, and better communicate their needs. Singles, too, can step back and evaluate their attitudes and approaches to sex, and become more attuned to their personal needs.

OK. I buy that. Makes perfect sense to me.

My husband, however, and every other man on this planet and male creatures on every other planet in the universe would not participate in this process unless their sex life - or marriage and/or relationship - depended on it.

In my opinion, men would acquiesce to a no-sex touchy feely chit chat way of life - even temporarily - as a measure of last resort.

That's not to say that this book might not help some people through their issues - and by that I mean primarily communication issues.

Couples in committed, long-term relationships invariably have to deal with changes in their sex lives. Kids get in the way - sometimes literally. Stress related to work, parenting, finances, and a million other factors seeps into the bedroom and reveals itself in different ways.

Let's face it: "sexual problems" are symptoms of relationship problems. If you can't talk to your partner about your needs, then you need more than this pretty pink book to get your sex life and relationship back on track. If anything, you should "detoxify" yourself. Keep a diary, ask yourself some tough questions, and become better attuned to your own personal needs. Then open your mouth and communicate exactly what you need.

If you're in a healthy relationship and looking to re-capture some of the titillation and excitement of the sex you had when you first met, then by all means, buy a vibrator.

That was a joke.

What I meant to say was that you should consider going on the kind of diet this book prescribes. Like I said (crudely, I might add), absence makes the fond grow harder. I hasten to attempt an appropriate analogy for women, but naturally, it's only human to crave what we do not have.

And craving is a healthy part of sex, is it not?

Do you want more?

I know you want more.

But no. No more sex talk for now. No more talk about not having sex.

Ooooh. You want it, I know.

Mmmmmm.

But no.

Not for thirty days.

If you crave more information about this book and all kinds of other great stuff, be sure to check out Parent Bloggers.